Sleepless
by silver lametta
Summary: Castiel can't sleep; Dean helps him out in a fluffy, non-porny way. Warning: So very un-beta'd! Also, beware of fluffiness.


**A/N**: Just another meaningless fluffy fic. Written within two hours while I was procrastinating and freaking out about my Dean/Cas Big Bang. Set in an AR where after season 5 Castiel fell, became human, and started hunting with the boys. This may or may not grow into something bigger.

**xxx**

Dean had never been the 'emotional care bear' of their team, this role exclusively belonged to Sam. This time, however, he made an exception because the case itself was exceptional.

It had been a month since they ended the Apocalypse and a month since all angels left Earth, leaving one particular angel behind. Except Castiel wasn't an angel anymore.

"You have to talk to him, Dean. He won't listen to me. I mean, look at him. The guy's lost. Can you imagine what it's like to once be a powerful Heavenly creature and then lose everything?"

"No, Sam, I can't. And neither do you. I get it; it sucks to be Cas right now. But if it's the guy we know, he will be okay. He will cope with it."

"He needs our help, Dean," Sam insisted. "And I tried, but he won't talk to me."

"Well maybe he doesn't need talking."

Sam shook his head. "Remember last week when we hunted that shape-shifter and Castiel fainted?"

Dean nodded. "Yeah, he hit his head."

"No, he didn't. I saw him, Dean. He just fainted. One moment he stood there the next he was lying on the ground. But he won't talk to me about it. And look at him. He is pale like a dead man. Clearly there's something he's not telling us."

Dean had to admit, Sam had a point. It was one thing that Castiel was just emotionally stressed out because he was cut off from Heaven. But fainting and looking drained was another thing. So he promised Sam to at least try to find out what's up with him.

An opportunity presented itself two days later when he and Castiel had to share a motel room. Now that Castiel also needed rest they took two rooms– a double and a single – and stayed there in turns. This way everybody had some free space from time to time but they still saved some money on sharing a double. That night it was Sam's turn to take the single and he left them, casting a meaningful glance at Dean.

Castiel looked worn out; there were dark circles under his eyes more visible now that his skin had a grey shade to it. The crease of worry between his eyebrows deepened, his mouth turned into a thin line. He rummaged in his duffel bag, his movements slow and forced, stopping for a second to pinch the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger as if he had a bad headache.

"Cas, you okay?"

Castiel startled at the sound of his voice and lifted his red rimmed eyes at Dean.

"I'm fine," he uttered and turned away again.

"Come on, man, I can see that you're not. I'm not blind." Dean approached him and put a hand on his shoulder, tugging lightly. "Look at me, Cas. Tell me what's wrong."

"There is nothing to tell," Castiel said abruptly, not looking Dean in the eyes.

"We both know it's not true." Dean took the duffel bag from of his hands and threw it on the floor, then pushed Castiel to sit on the edge of the bed, squatting down in front of him. He looked up and Castiel had no choice but look back at him. Their eyes met.

Dean bit his lower lip in worry. "Man, you don't look so good."

"I haven't been sleeping well," Castiel admitted.

"Do you have nightmares or somethin'?"

The ex-angel shook his head. "I just can't sleep."

Sleeplessness? Huh. Dean didn't expect such a simple explanation. In his mind he imagined most horrible things such as Castiel secretly fighting hordes of demons to protect them or Raphael threatening to kill him or something equally bad.

Castiel noticed relief on his face and added:

"I don't sleep, Dean. At all. Ever since I became human I haven't yet slept."

"What?" Dean gaped at him. "Cas, it's impossible. It's been over a month now. How could you last without sleeping so long?"

Castiel shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe I had some of my grace left. Now it's gone, but I still can't sleep. I… find it unpleasant." He made a pause as if contemplating on whether to tell Dean or not. "Every time I try my mind starts shutting down, emptying. It's like falling into an abyss, into nowhere." He shook his head. "I can't do it."

Dean was pissed at himself. How could he be so blind? Come to think about it, he'd never seen Castiel sleep. When he fell asleep Castiel was always still awake and when Dean woke up Castiel was already awake. He couldn't even suggest that the ex-angel wasn't sleeping.

"Cas, why didn't you tell me?"

Castiel looked away. "I didn't want to bother you. I am an enough burden for you and Sam already. You did so much for me. I promise I will leave you as soon as I can and will try to adjust on my own."

Dean took a firm grip on Castiel's shoulder. "Hey, hey, Cas, look at me." His thumb made small circles over the fabric of Castiel's shirt. "You are not a burden, Cas. You hear that? You're our friend. And you're not going anywhere."

Castiel's eyes wandered over Dean's face as if he tried to find out whether the hunter was telling the truth.

"Yes. Thank you, Dean."

The hunter nodded and stood up, giving one last pat on Cas' shoulder. "Good. Now go take a shower first and get into bed," he instructed.

Castiel gave him a suspicious look. "Dean I told you I can't…"

"Just. Do what I say, Cas. Trust me."

That earned him a raised eyebrow, but Castiel didn't say anything else.

When Dean got out of shower Castiel was already under the covers, his black hair sticking in different directions on the white pillow. His skin was still a little flushed from the shower and pale, making him look vulnerable. That sight sent feelings to Dean's chest he didn't dare name, but he ignored them, reminding himself he was first of all helping Cas. He put on a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants before crawling on the bed next to Cas.

"Move," he commanded and Castiel looked at him with surprise.

"You have your own bed."

"And how am I supposed to help you from my own bed, huh? Move, Cas."

Castiel eyed him with suspicion as he wriggled, making space for him. He threw back the blanket, but Dean wasn't going to get under it. Instead he put the blanket back and tugged Cas in the way he used to tug in little Sammy. He then flopped on the bed next to the ex-angel, propping his head against the headboard, and looked down to find blue eyes staring up at him.

"Now try to relax and not think about anything."

"I don't think that would be helpful, Dean. I used to hear the voices of my brothers and sisters in my head. Hearing nothing now would hardly be comforting. It is… unnerving to leave my mind unguarded and vulnerable for such a substantial period of time," Castiel admitted somewhat ashamed.

"Don't worry, I will watch over you," Dean promised and there was more meaning behind these words than he'd planned to put in. "You trust me?"

Castiel's eyes flickered all over his face, searching for something, and then he whispered a quiet 'yes'.

"Good. Now close your eyes and relax. Don't try to get to sleep on purpose. Just listen to me. Can you do that?"

Castiel nodded. "I believe I can."

He closed his eyes and for few seconds Dean studied his face in silence. It was familiar, but from this angle and with this proximity there were things that looked different. He saw the little wrinkles around his eyes and few tiny freckles on his cheeks; he noticed the sharpness of his jaw line and the soft curve of his lips.

"You know," Dean murmured, not tearing his eyes away from Castiel's face. "When Sammy was little and had nightmares I used to tell him stories so he could get to sleep. Maybe it could help you, too."

"Maybe," Castiel agreed. "I find your voice very pleasant." Dean felt heat rising to his cheeks and was glad Castiel's eyes were closed.

He settled on telling Castiel about his first hunt with his dad, then told him about his first hunt on his own and his and Sam's first hunt together. He ended up telling random stories from his childhood, not all of them happy, but those were real stories. Cas seemed to enjoy them and even threw comments or asked questions here and there. Somewhere through the third story Dean started stroking Castiel's hair, tangling his fingers with the dark locks. It was just an impulse, but Cas didn't seem to mind, only let out a small contented noise, so Dean didn't stop. He moved his fingertips in small circles, nails gently scraping skin, enjoying the way Castiel's hair tickled against his palm. When Castiel turned his head to the side, giving him better access, Dean couldn't help but let out a quiet chuckle. He stroked the back of Cas' head, moved up to tug lightly at the hair on his temple, then down to trace the shell of Cas' ear with his fingertips and rub the tender earlobe between his thumb and forefinger.

At some point he noticed Cas had gone quiet and looked down to find him sound asleep. His breathing was deep and even, warm against Dean's side, lips slightly parted, color finally returning to his features.

"Told you I'd watch over you," Dean whispered, brushing his knuckles lightly against Cas' stubbly cheeks. "I always will."

**xxx**


End file.
